Sunday, August 8, 2010

He has been preparing me.

With the change in circumstances in the last 2 weeks, I have had the opportunity to just sit and sit and sit and contemplate my life. I thought a lot about how this pregnancy has changed my life, but more importantly how my life, my families lives, will change dramatically change within just 5 weeks. The biggest question I have had has been, "How am I prepared to have 3 children?" More importantly, "How am I prepared to have 2 babies?" I have to admit, I am scared to death! What has prepared me for this moment that Heavenly Father feels he can trust me with 3 of his precious children and twins for that matter. This last week as I was contemplating all of this and trying to make list of things we need to do before these babies arrive, I was hit hard in the heart with my answer. Heavenly Father has been preparing me and blessing me.

He has been preparing me by giving me the opportunity to have a long Maternity leave from work. The time that I have been away from work has relaxed me so much. It has given me the much needed time to concentrate on my family, to enjoy visits from so many family and friends, and it has helped me to think about the really important things in my life. Being on bed rest these last 2 weeks has forced me to slow down and take care of myself and accept services from others. I have been blessed so much with wonderful support from family and friends and the out pour of love from them has been humbling. It's really hard to accept service when you are used to giving it. It is even harder to say I do need some help. Not being able to take care of Tyler on my own these last 2 weeks has been the hardest thing for me. I feel like I have failed as a mother. Eric has picked up my job and become the mother and father. My brother's family has taken care of Tyler when Eric has needed to get work done on the house before the arrival of the twins. Of course, I get to do all the fun stuff with Ty and I enjoy nothing more than just sitting with him and holding with and reading a book with him, but I miss all the other parenting stuff that I was able to do.

Heavenly Father has been preparing me for twins by helping to me get a job as a nurse in Labor and Delivery. I have had the most wonderful experiences helping women during their pregnancies and deliveries. I have had the opportunity to see the complications that are associated with a twin pregnancy and to help many families deliver twins. I feel my experiences and knowledge have helped me to prepare for this time and not freak out about every little thing that has happened during this pregnancy or that may come in the future. Let me just say that everything about this pregnancy was way different then my pregnancy with Tyler. This delivery is going to be even more different because I am going to have an epidural instead of going natural, I am also going to have a c/section instead of a vaginal birth, and I know that these boys are going to come early, 37 weeks being the latest scheduled time for their delivery.

Heavenly Father has been preparing me for twins by giving me a wonderful family to look to as examples of great parents and a wonderful husband who is so great at being a dad. I get asked all the time, "Does twins run in your family or your husbands family?" The answer is "No, not really....But...." Eric has been blessed with a big family. His mother was remarried to a wonderful man when Eric was a teenager and with this wonderful man came a large wonderful family. Eric has 3 biological sibling and 5 step siblings not including their spouses. We have 24 nieces and nephews just on that side of our family. On his step family side there are 3 sets of twins. Eric's step brothers are identical twins and we have two sets of nieces and nephew who are twins. I have the best resources right in my own family to refer to for parenting advice. I have to say that I absolutely love my large family. I love all my sisters and brother-in-laws and my brother, of course. We have so much fun when we visit with each other and I love being an aunt to all my these wonderful kids.

There are a lot more ways that Heavenly Father has been preparing me for this time in my life and I could write forever. The most important thing I realized was that we are not given more than we can handle and we are being prepared for what we are given even if we do not recognize it. Heavenly Father blesses us in so many ways and I feel I need to recognize these blessings more in my life instead of complaining.

1 comment:

Janessa Couch said...

Kelly, you are an amazing woman and I have always admired you for that. I so wish that I could be there with you at this time for help and support. I guess a late night text message will be sufficient enough. There have been so many times in my life that I have noticed Heavenly Father preparing me for different things and it is such a humbling experience. I can not wait to see these sweet babies!!!