Back to work.

I went back to work on Thursday night after being on maternity leave for four months. It was really hard and I cried on the way there. I was also very emotional after my patients gave birth or if I saw a baby that was not doing well. Before having a baby, seeing a delivery was a special experience, but once having a child, the feelings are a lot more intense and very emotional. I think I work even harder and worry even more about my patients now. In some ways I feel like there mother and am watching out to make sure that they are taken care of and that everything goes well. I am also teaching them and reassuring them that they are doing a great job. It took a while to get back into the hang of things, but I did not get the chance to gradually get reacquainted with my job. I worked three nights in a row and all three nights I had high risk maternity patients with complicated births which meant that I pretty much did not sit down for twelve hours or thirteen when the time changed. On Saturday night I wore a pedometer and from 5:30 pm to 2am, I had walked 9,952 steps which was around three miles. My feet were killing me and still are really sore now. The cute thing that happened was on Friday morning Eric had to hand off Tyler to me at work so that he could get to his class. He dressed Tyler up in his Pirate outfit and surprised me. Tyler was a hit. All of my coworkers thought he was so cute and he just smiled at them. I do not usually like to be in the spotlight, but I do like to show my baby off. He is just too cute and sweet not to. I love my job, but I like being a mother even more. I miss Tyler so much when I am at work and my heart aches to see him. I just love coming home to a smiling baby and he lets me snuggle up and kiss him. I know that I have to work and I just need to keep the future in mind that I am doing this so that Eric can finish school and so we can live decently. I know it will get a little easier to leave him as time goes by, but I am afraid that I will miss part of his growing up.